i don't want to have to wish

1. i wish i had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

2. i wish i didn't work so hard.

3. i wish i'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4. i wish i'd stayed in touch with my friends

5. i wish that i had let myself be happier

today i read this list compiled by a hospice nurse; a list of things people most often said they regretted as they faced their last days on earth and realized all their chances were running out.

i loved the list. saw application for my twenty-year-old life. but it struck me that a successful life for the jesus-follower really does look radically different from that of any other person. coming to the end of my life and knowing i'd really made the best of myself and enjoyed all the beautiful things that being alive has to give us-- that wouldn't mean i'd succeeded. the end of life is really the beginning; the beginning of eternal life with no end, or the beginning of an endless death. why do we disconnect this life from that one so much when they are separated so barely by such a thin wall?

so i read the list and then wrote my own version. a life that brings heaven closer; that points other people to its majesty. this is success.

this is what i do not want to get to the end and look back and regret.

1. i wish i'd invested in more encouraging relationships with other women

2. i wish i'd spent more time alone with jesus

3. i wish i'd cared more about pointing others to heaven than protecting my reputation

4. i wish i'd spent more time getting knowing god better, sharing the gospel, and having an eternal impact than protecting my rights and my time, and trying to be liked
5. i wish i'd lived like this was my one chance to share the great love of christ with souls who still have a choice.