mothering

There are no words for the surprise, joy, awe and love of becoming a mother. James has already changed me forever. He is so tiny and needy and so absolutely perfect and beautiful. Feeling him heavy on my chest softly breathing is the quietest, deepest joy I know.

Kyle has been the most incredible partner, husband, and dad in all of this. Our unity, love, and trust has grown exponentially in one week. I feel more close and more in love with him than I ever have before.

I am just starting to grasp on a deeper level how much God loves me when I hold James close. He is my child. There is nothing I would not do for him. If I "being evil," love my child this way, how much more does my Father in heaven love me?

Inexpressible joy. I am a MOTHER. I have a SON who needs me and who I sustain with my very body. I'll never not be a mother again. James will never not be my son. I will love him all of my days and all of eternity. An eternal soul will exist forever, that Kyle and I gave life to. This is a wondrous and vast ocean of mystery and joy - the creation of another life, and my role in it.