i stepped inside

i stepped inside 7/24

silence and crispy clean sheets
being alone, this is strange.
entering the world again.
it hasn't changed but. this one has.
i have.
changed, by that i mean shaped, modeled, formed into a stranger,
a foreigner
who doesn't Belong.
and yet, my heart is climbing out of my chest
even now, feeling the pull like a receding tide
to be one with the Here and Now,
the way it used to be.

i read in the psalms over again
how david lavishly exclaims that he will sing to the Lord as long as he lives.
i sigh. breathe deep because i know that,
donna grace will run from the Lord as long as she lives.

the blessed redeemer, my only savior- Jesus
sweet abba daddy.
how you, MY god, hate when i am tempted and give in
to be One with earth-home.
yet.
in the hate for the lies i choose
is the deepest forgiveness i've ever known.
you, who know my mistakes,
don't know my mistakes.
because you hurled them,
out of this galaxy and into the nextandnext
so far out there
in the way that when you go east,
you are always going away from west.

my Strength will bring me, singing as long as i live.
he'll do it all. and none of it will be me.
all glorious within.